Reality TV can be absolutely mindnumbing, and that’s why we love it. Here’s some of the worst reality television shows ever made.
Let’s face it: we don’t watch reality TV for its educational value. Most reality television portrays humanity at its most insipid, and that’s why we love it. We all have our favorite show that’s so bad we can’t admit to others that we watch it. Here’s some of the worst of the worst reality TV shows. Warning: watching these programs will make you want a long, long shower!
Flavor of Love (2006) and I Love New York (2007). On this VH-1 train wreck, single women (aka bad actresses) catfight their way to the heart of Flavor Flav, the sweet but bizarre washed-up rap star who sports a huge clock around his neck. The bitch extraordinaire of the show is New York, who looks like a drag queen with bad makeup. VH-1 kept the ratings-fest alive with a spinoff, I Love New York, where New York selects a mate with the help of her equally vicious mother.
Temptation Island (2001-2003). Four unmarried couples who are having relationship problems travel to a beautiful location, where they test their relationship by dating and making out with sexy models. At the end of the show, the couples decide whether to stay together or break up. Critics charged this show with promoting infidelity. Thing is, though, the contestants are so clueless and sleazy that no one would actually want to mimic their behavior.
Britney & Kevin: Chaotic (2005). Thank you, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, for giving us a generous glimpse of your love story (before you broke up and Britney went berserk and shaved her head). The only celebrity show that was equally as pathetic was the Anna Nicole Show (2002-2004), which was instantly made unfunny after Anna Nicole’s death, so Britney and Kevin now reign supreme.
My Super Sweet 16 (2005–). You can always count on MTV to numb your mind. The premise of this show is simple: make fun of spoiled rich girls as they plan over-the-top Sweet 16 galas. Nothing unpredictable happens; the girls whine at their daddies a lot and their parties are a huge success.
Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? (2000). The only thing more bizarre than this train wreck was the amount of media coverage it received. “Lucky” Darva Conger was chosen by millionaire Rick Rockwell to be his bride. They married at the end of the show. Unfortunately, she was only in it for the free trip to Las Vegas, so she dumped him on the honeymoon cruise. It turned out that Rockwell wasn’t all that rich anyway.
Mr. Personality (2003). This Fox show was hosted by Monica Lewinsky, which automatically earns it a spot on this list. The premise: a beautiful woman gets to date a bunch of guys with masks on, so she doesn’t know if they’re hot or dorky looking. There’s supposed to be some deep message about inner beauty or something.
The Real Housewives of Orange County. (2006–). This strangely addictive Bravo show is sort of like Super Sweet 16 for grownups. Five rich OC women spend obscene amounts of money and make bad choices. The show is kind of lame, but that’s part of what makes it fun.
Married by America. (2003). Here’s how it works: America calls in and chooses mates for a bunch of bachelors and bachelorettes. The couples live together and fight a lot, and in the finale, the two couples deemed most compatible compete for the privilege of getting married on national TV. Both couples bailed out, thank goodness.
The Player. (2004). A UPN original reality show– that pretty much sums it up! In this supposedly hip-hop dating show, a stunning model chooses among a group of “players” with the help of her catty girlfriends.
My Fair Brady (2005) and My Fair Brady: We’re Getting Married! (2006). Former America’s Next Top Model winner Adrianne Curry is in love with Christopher Knight, who played Peter on the Brady Bunch and is a gazillion years older than her. Despite the disapproval of Florence Henderson– aka Carol Brady– they get married. Only VH-1 could make third rate celebrities this mesmerizing.